This blog is to give you an insight, or a behind the scenes look at the lyrics to a song I wrote for my husband for our 20 year Anniversary, which we just celebrated on June 22, 2015’. After you read the blog, please check out my photo montage I made of the song on my website.
I was a teenager when I met my husband. How crazy does that sound? 19 years old when I started working for the phone company in 1990. Fresh out of high school and a single mom looking for full time work.
Gene says he remembers the first time seeing me the day I walked into the office. I don’t remember much about that day except for the fact that I was a terrified teenager entering a world of angry employees working for the phone company for one too many years.
Gene and I worked in cubicles sitting one on each side with a cubicle wall between us. I don’t remember having an actual introduction. My first memory of him is when he would call my extension, I would answer saying “This is Yvette” and he would say “Wanna kiss?” and then he would hang up the phone and throw Hershey’s kisses over the cubicle and they would hit me right on the head. And my very first thoughts were – “Wow, what a weirdo.” And then I would happily eat my candy. J Hence, (lyrics) “The crazy thing’s you’d do for my attention.”
Another time that he so fondly remembers, was when he came up to my cube, and asked me about my hot pink name plate and I gave him a very detailed explanation about my previous job and where and how I made it with my very own hands. And really all he heard was blah blah blah blah blah, as he says that he was just so mesmerized by all my prettiness! Ha! (I’m rolling my eyes)
But both of us were in previous relationships and I never really had an inclination that he was interested in me. There was always some flirtation, and I often caught him looking at me, but I never thought anything of it until the one day out of the blue, he asked me out on a date. We always took breaks and lunches together, so spending time with him was not strange or anything, but I remember when he asked me if I wanted to go out with him the following evening, my response was “In the night time??” and he said “Uh yes.” And I said “Uh – ok.” And I remember walking away thinking, “Wow, he just asked me out. Hmmm.”
So our first date was at the Chili Pepper in downtown Denver. Gene was and always has been a VERY funny and witty guy, and so of course our first and many dates after were always spent laughing, at God only knows what. Granted we always had a couple of drinks together, but truthfully, we would be laughing even before the drinking. Our times at work together were always spent laughing as well and I found myself always wanting to be with him, just to feel the way I felt with him and especially because he made me laugh. (lyrics) “All the time that we’d spend laughing for no reason.”
During that time in my life, I was going through some very hard times, not only as a single mom, but grieving the loss of my niece who had died of SIDS and also my grandfather who had also just passed. I often tease Gene that he was attracted to “depression” apparently, because that was one of my strongest traits back in the 90’s. These were the early times in our relationship where (lyrics) “he dried my tears and stood beside me.” And there were many, many, many more years to come where he would be there for me time after time.
I heard just recently someone say, that marriage to them was another way of serving, and another opportunity that God gives them to serve someone else. That really resonated with me and could not be more true where our marriage is concerned. We are just celebrated our 20 year anniversary this year, and I, by no means, claim to be an expert on marriage. But I can tell you all the traits in my husband, that made me fall in love with him, and keep me in love with him still, 20 years later.
Mark 10:45 “For even the son of man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” It was something beautiful and amazing when the creator of the universe came to earth and served humanity. The traits that He taught us on how we should live and how we should serve others, Gene has ALWAYS had. And I know to others and when you read this, you are probably going to think and say that I am very spoiled as a woman and wife, because of all that Gene has done for me. And though it may make ME look bad to people here on earth, because I am the recipient of Gene’s service, I think in God’s eyes, Gene is the type of husband that God desires all men to be, and that He will one day say to Gene “Well done, thy good and faithful servant.”
When Gene and I’s friendship began back in the 90’s, we were friends and co-workers in the workplace. As I said, I was a single mom back then, and I was at the very bottom of the totem pole at US West, and I used to have to work the night shift. Gene however, was higher up on the totem pole and he was able to get earlier hours. So even before we started dating, he offered many times to work my night shifts so that I could have day hours to be home with my son in the evenings. On the times when I did have to work the night shifts or he was unable to switch with me , he would always walk me to my car before dark so that I could move my car closer to the building so I wouldn’t have to walk the 5 blocks by myself at 11:00 at night.
After we started dating, there were countless times I remember him bringing me lunch before he would leave work, or surprise me with a pack of Twinkies that I so loved back then. One incident however that completely blew me away was one evening, when I had no gas in my car, and I was working until 11:00 at night. I shared with him over the phone that I was worried I might not make it home because I was running on empty, and he came all the way back to work with his tank of gas that he used to fill his lawn mower, found my car, and filled it with the gas so that I was sure to make it home that night. And then he came up to the office to say hi to me. Believe me, when I say that NO MAN had ever done anything like that for me before. I dated guys who would expect me to pay for dinner at times. Who conveniently forgot my phone # whenever my birthday or Valentine’s day rolled around or would get angry and annoyed with me when I got a flat tire and they had to change it for me. I really never dated anyone who showed me any type of kindness. Needless to say, I fell in love.
Throughout our marriage, Gene has always found ways to serve me, and has always put my feelings before his own. He has sacrificed so much for me and has lost so much because of me. I have seen the pain he has endured because of relationships he has lost and I often times have felt so guilty because of it, that I have even offered to let him go because his sacrifice was too great. But he has always been very committed to me and promises over and over that he will never leave me and that our marriage is his priority. (lyrics) “And everything you had to lose, because of me.” But Gene has always believed that God can heal and will restore the relationships he has lost. He has so much faith and hope in God and never stops praying. It breaks my heart to see his pain, but we have come to a place where we are just so very thankful to God for all He has done, for all He has blessed us with and for the people in our lives who love us and enjoy being around us.
Gene has never forgotten a birthday, an anniversary, the day of our first date, or the song that was playing the day he finally kissed me for the first time. (Which by the way, is the song that plays at the very end, when the song changes to a slow song. This is the song by ELVIS Presley that was playing on the day of our very first kiss. “Loving Arms” is the name of that song.
The way that Gene surprises me with gifts, candy, flowers, or builds me a flower bed at a whim, helps me when I get overwhelmed, tends to our house, fixes anything that breaks, works on the lawn, cleans the garage, builds me a shelving unit or new desk, does the dishes, makes the bed and makes my lunch, runs for the umbrella to escort me to my car in the rain, opens the door for me, takes me to fancy restaurants, or takes me for ice cream in his hot Camaro – are all ways that he serves me daily in our marriage.
He has literally shown me what it means to love someone more than yourself and to give with your whole heart and soul. And it makes me want to be a better wife and to give to him as much as he gives to me. Not because I owe him for all that he does, but because I want to be that kind of servant in our marriage just as he is to me. Nothing I do for him compares to all that he does, which is why I write “I may never understand why you chose to love me, and I never saw what you saw in me.” But I do plan to keep the promises I made, and to do my best to serve him as well as he has served me for 20 plus years. I thank God for Gene every single day. I am blessed more than I deserve. And I am thankful.
Click here to hear my song, “Promises” .